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Olivia Greenway, travel journalist and copywriter

How to survive a long haul flight

July 4, 2013
By olivia

None of my grandparents ever left the county they were born in, never mind the country.  Travel was something a coal-miner and blacksmith did not do and both my grandmothers had their hands full with over seven children.

 

Their granddaughter now travels all over the world, for practically peanuts.  The cabin crew don’t pander over me like they used to when I first flew as a little girl, and visits to the cockpit are long gone, but I still feel a thrum of excitement every time the plane takes off.

 

At the airport

If you show loyalty to one airline, and you fly enough, you may get a card that allows you into the airport lounge.  Together with fast track through security privilege, this does cut down on airport pain.

 

 

Business class

Flying is a doddle if you are in business class, especially if you have a flat bed.  There are not usually any children – although on a flight last week there were three nannies, each with their charge (parents flew first class) – but that is unusual.  You just cover yourself with the posh blanket, hope there is not a snorer on board, fingers crossed the phantom farter has missed the flight, and you sleep like a baby.

 

World Traveller Plus class

This is a fourth class offered by BA and is worth considering if you can spare the extra cash.  Depending on how far ahead you book, flights cost about 20% more than economy and afford you more comfortable seats.

 

Economy class

In economy with the poor people – of which I am usually a member – it is a different story.  Flying economy is the cheapest way of getting from A to B, if A and B are many miles apart.  It is a means to an end, so enjoying the experience as well is a bonus.

 

Seating

You can minimise the discomfort – especially if you are over 5’8” tall by trying to get an emergency exit seat.  This gives you more legroom – or if you are tall, you will be able to sit in your seat without your knees digging into the magazine pocket.

 

The next best seats are the rows of three next to the windows. If you are happy to be trapped in the window seat wanting to go to the bathroom when your companions are fast asleep, choose that.  The aisle seat means you are boss but it also means you are bumped by the drinks trolley and the food trolley, and in fact by anyone who walks past.

 

Only go for the middle seat if you have no arms or are part of a couple. (Once, travelling with my partner, thought we would be clever and booked the aisle and the window seat, thinking no one would take the middle seat.  Someone did and no, he would not move.  Lesson learned.)

 

If you are the sort of person who can sleep through an earthquake, then it is perhaps good to go bye byes when the lights go out.  I can’t sleep on planes, unless I fly business.  This means, not that I fly business all the time but that I tend not to sleep on planes.

 

On the average long haul economy flight, you are going to have screamers, armrest hoggers, people who can’t shut the f*ck up, people who insist on using their reading light when everyone else is trying to sleep and someone who gets angry with a member of the cabin crew.  The main meal is going to be inedible, the coffee sludgy, the tea stewed, the bread roll resembling a cannon ball….(Unless you fly business, when magically, through that thin blue curtain, there is a world of delicious food and decent coffee.)

 

  • Set your expectations low.  Think of where you are going (which is why you are flying)

 

  • Adjust your watch as soon as you board.  Start thinking in terms of your destination time

 

  • Take off your shoes and put on some socks – supplied if you ask, usually, but I take my own just in case

 

  • A blow up neck pillow is a good idea

 

  • Always wrap up – even though you have a blanket supplied, it can be cold.  I always take a spare heavy scarf

 

  • Drink lots of water.  Try to avoid alcohol (I know it’s free but it does dehydrate and encourages headaches.)

 

  • Stay calm and try not to get annoyed or irritated.  Zone out of the situation around you and try to rest as much as possible

 

  • Keep yourself amused.  (I can’t concentrate enough to read, but watch as many films as I can bear, back to back. I also listen to music.  If the lights are still on, I may do some work planning.)

 

  • If you don’t like the food, don’t eat it.  No one died from missing two meals

 

  • Be nice to the cabin crew.  They work hard and seem to get very little appreciation

 

Categories : Experience Reviews, Lifestyle, Reviews, Travel
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Trips 2018/2019

2019

January: Zanzibar

March: Cape Town & Pretoria

May: Slovenia

October: South Africa (tbc)

November: Kenya (tbc)

 

Trips 2018

March:  New York, including Frick Gallery

May:  Vietnam including Halong Bay

June:  Giverny and Monet’s garden

June:  Majorca

December: Hyderabad and Chandigarh, India

Trips 2017

January: Johannesburg, Pretoria, Swaziland, Mozambique, Zimbabwe
February: Bangalore
April: Lake District
May: Malaga
September: Mexico, Cancun
November: Delhi, Agra, Shimla
December: Berlin, Prague, Budapest, Venice

Trips 2016 (not clickable)

January: Oxford, Tenerife
February: Hampshire
March: Manchester
April: Sicily, Germany
October: Bangalore, New Delhi
November: Bangalore, New Delhi
December: Dar es Salaam, Tanzania

List of trips 2015 (not clickable)

January: European ski resorts; Milan
February: Germany, Austria, Switzerland
March: Istanbul, Jersey, Vienna, Prague, Budapest
April: Road trip Ireland
May: Road trip France, Germany, Benelux and Copenhagen
June: UK luxury hotels
December: Cannes

List of trips 2014 (not clickable)

January Weimar, Vienna
February - Berlin, London
April - Chicago, Toronto, Montreal
May/June - Driving trip, Spain
July – Majorca
July - Paris
August - Southern UK
September – Northern Italy including Venice
October - South of France
October/November - Germany, Austria and Switzerland
December - Cape Town, Durban, driving along Garden Route South Africa, Kenya, Rwanda

List of trips 2013 (not clickable)

  • January - Tenerife
  • March - Istanbul
  • April - Italy luxury hotels - mid and southern Italy including Sicily
  • June - Las Vegas
  • June - Massive west coast road trip - Vancouver, BC
  • June - Seattle, Portland, San Francisco, Napa Valley, Santa Barbara, Los Angeles, Santa Monica, San Diego
  • September - Washington DC, Maryland, Delaware, Virginia
  • September - Carolinas, Georgia, northern Florida (Talahassee area)
  • September - New Orleans, Orlando, Miami; Vancouver
  • October - Puglia, Italy and Milan

List of trips 2012

  • January - Hawaii, USA
  • February - France - Le Touquet, Lens, Lille
  • March - Nelamangala, India
  • July - Milan, Italy
  • August - Buenos Aires, Argentina
  • August - Iguazu Falls, Brazil
  • August - Montevideo, Uruguay
  • September - Delhi, India
  • November - Dubai, UAE

List of trips 2011

  • January - Madeira, Portugal
  • February - Bangalore, India
  • April - British Virgin Islands, Caribbean
  • May - Sicily, Italy
  • May - San Francisco, USA
  • June - Bangalore and New Delhi, India
  • July - Prague, Czech Republic
  • July - Munich, Germany
  • July - Washington DC, USA
  • August - Lake District, UK
  • September - La Grande-Motte, France
  • Annapolis, USA
  • October - Buenos Aires, Argentina
  • December - Helsinki, Finland
  • December - St Petersburg, Russia

List of trips 2010

  • February - India - Kerala & Chennai
  • March - Manchester & the North West
  • March - Austria
  • April - Czech Republic
  • May - Lake District
  • June - Cologne
  • July - India - Bangalore and Delhi
  • August - Eastern Cape & KwaZulu-Natal, South Africa
  • September - Grasse, south of France
  • September - Wick, Scotland
  • October - Utah, USA
  • December - Montreal, Canada
  • December - Madeira, Portugal
Olivia Greenway, travel journalist and copywriter
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